Saturday, June 7, 2008

J Rock's Guide to Watching "Hatchet"

We've all been in the position of watching a movie someone else is really excited about and more or less disliking every minute of it. So what's the most effective way of suffering through such an ordeal while avoiding the risk of appearing obviously disinterested to said excited party? Is it really worth the effort of explaining the reasons one isn't enjoying the movie? What if the movie is so bad that elaborating on this topic would take as long as watching another equally bad film? Regardless of the answers to these rhetorical questions, I have figured out a temporary solution that has worked many times in the past. My suggestion:

  • Pretend a friend of yours made the movie, and that you personally know everyone who is acting in it.



With this mindset, bad jokes become funnier, cheap special effects appear impressive, poorly written dialogue becomes excusable, and sub-par acting translates as endearing. I swear, it works. A good example would be the movie "Hatchet". It's about a guy who was deformed, burned alive, and now kills people with a hatchet. The "unconventional" ending becomes a stroke of genius when watching using my brilliant strategy. Try it, I dare you.

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